Happiness is a CHOICE.
It is an inside job.
Read through this list to test your Emotional Strength.
The one particular area of mental strength that has the greatest impact on your well-being is that of emotional strength. Emotions are, of course, a part of our psyche, yet nevertheless, can be distinguished from the remainder of mental qualities because they most directly influence our physical body. They affect the way our body functions and they drive every single one of our actions. Without emotion, we would have no reason to act, to do anything with ourselves. Emotions are our greatest motivators. Unfortunately, they can motivate us to act in any direction, even the wrong one. For this reason, emotional strength is essential. It goes hand and hand with self-control.
There are countless situations that emotionally strong people avoid and many actions they never take. Here are 15 of them:
1. They Don’t Beg For Attention
Needing attention is directly linked to emotion. Those who feel the need for recognition only find themselves experiencing feelings of worth when others make them feel needed. It is a hole that is insatiable, very easy to see in others, but often a blind spot for ourselves. Feeling unsure of your worth is a self-fulfilling prophecy; if you don’t know you matter, then no one will ever believe you do. Knowing your worth is key if you struggle with this.
2. They Don’t Allow Others To Bring Them Down
Emotional strength requires resilience. This world is filled with haters and trolls. There are jealous eyes lurking around every corner. The unfortunate truth is that often the people who hold us back the most are those closest to us. Spending less time with these people is often the best solution, but also the most difficult. If you can quietly remove these people from your life, that’s one fewer bridge burned and much less of an emotional trigger.
CAUTION: sometimes difficult people in our lives actually mirror a blind spot of our own, so be very careful not to just cut people out before you self-reflect and take some introspective if there is something in you that is jealous or experiencing envy. Also removing people from your life does not need to be harsh, once again, it is a test of your own maturity to gently pull back or remove.
3. They Don’t Hold Grudges
If you’re holding a grudge, then you already care more about a situation than you should. If a person apologizes genuinely, forgive him or her. If this person doesn’t apologize, then don’t interact with him or her, but don’t hold grudges. People with whom you seek to alienate and hold grudges against take up too much of your mental energy, doing more harm than good. Forgiveness whether someone is deserving or not is a freedom that is counter intuitive to the way we want to naturally respond. When you release the bitter root deep inside, you truly are free. Wish them well, bless and release.
4. They Never Stop Doing Their Own Thing
Emotionally strong individuals do what they do because they love doing it. They don’t plan on slowing down or stopping for anyone who deems their happiness inappropriate. So many critic today. Negative opinions from others usually stems from their own insecurities.
Facebook is a great example . Post what you want on your own wall it is where you can express your own freedom. Be mindful when posting or commenting on others even when you disagree – it allows others to be free in themselves. There is a HIDE button for posts you do not want to keep seeing in the newsfeed, there is an UNFOLLOW button if you want to stay connected but choose not to see the posts unless you go to their page. There is an UNFRIEND button to disconnect (be careful about using this button, it sends a powerful message of full disconnect) and finally there is a BLOCK button for cutting them from your life, this should only be used in extreme cases where someone has shown disrespect or if you are truly protecting your own well-being.
5. They Never Stop Believing In Themselves
Those who love themselves and understand themselves — those who aren’t afraid or proud to be themselves — rarely doubt themselves. You amount to your own self-worth, not a shilling more. This trait causes more jealousy than someone being really handsome or pretty. The internal freedom is desired by so many trapped in low self-esteem or self-worth.
6. They Don’t Act Mean
Being a jerk is only good as an intimidation factor, and if you’re trying to intimidate people, then you better be a negotiator by profession; if you’re intimidating just for the sake of it, you’re obviously overcompensating for a lack of confidence. Any type of bullying is manipulative. That is a sign of someone who needs control over others.
7. They Know Better Than To Let Just Anyone Into Their Lives
The emotionally strong are emotionally strong for a reason: They don’t expose themselves to people who break down their defenses and crush their morale. Most people in the world are lost and will be more than happy to take you along with them. Don’t let an acquaintance ruin your happiness. This isn’t always recognizable at first. The closer you get to someone the more you realize their affect on you. You have to be able to decipher if it is healthy or not. That is not always an easy task, especially if there is an attraction of some sort involved. Emotions can blind you, awareness is key. Also listen to others that are close to you and love you, they often see things you cannot.
8. They Aren’t Afraid To Love
If you’re afraid to love, you don’t have enough confidence in yourself. You haven’t healed from past hurts and restored yourself. WAIT. Take the needed time to heal your hurts, forgive, regain who you are. You don’t want to get hurt again because getting hurt really sucks. There is no reason for you to get your heart broken again because you are awesome. If things don’t work out, it’s not you. It’s the two of you together. Unless, of course, you are an awful human being; in that case, it is you. Do not date someone who is not emotionally available, it spills over. If you spend friendship time with someone like this it can wear you down, limit the time.
9. They Don’t Lie In Bed Dreading The Day Ahead Of Them
The best part of your day should be the moment you wake up and realize you’re still alive. We take life for granted too regularly. They look forward more than they look behind them.
10. They’re Not Afraid Of Slowing Down
Emotionally strong people aren’t in need of constant action and excitement. They don’t need to run around all day and keep moving in order to avoid their demons. They appreciate a slow moment because it brings them closer to what it feels like to do nothing but living, breathing. This is not to say that they don’t enjoy excitement in their lives, but they aren’t junkies and are more than happy to just go for a walk and smell the roses.
11. They Don’t Do Things They Don’t Want To Do
We all do things that we don’t love to do, but we should never do things that we don’t want to do. The emotionally strong understand that and almost always manage to figure out a way to focus on what they love, which allows them to figure out what they need to do, in order to do what they love. Although they may not love every second of it, they like doing what they are doing because it’s bringing them one step closer to what they would love to do.
It is so important to take the time to sit down and determine what you WANT in life, and what you DO NOT WANT in life. This will help you recognize quickly when you are not stepping in the direction that serves you best. Live in your sweet spot!
12. They Have No Problem Saying “No”
If you can’t say “no,” you will get abused. You’ll be considered a pushover and no one will ever ask you for your opinion or take it seriously when you give it. Saying “no” reminds people that they don’t have control over you.
Self-control is extremely attractive in others.
Control or manipulation is the opposite, it repels people.
13. They Don’t “Forget” To Give Back
We’re not too busy or too poor to donate our money and/or time. We don’t forget, either. Some people just choose to ignore our responsibilities as human beings. The stronger you are emotionally, the more you come to appreciate others and life itself. You give life more worth and you begin to empathize with those who were dealt a bad hand. Compassion for others in high in someone who is emotionally strong. Responsibility is taken serious as well.
14. They Don’t Feel The Need To Fit
The stronger you are emotionally, the more independent you become. You don’t feel the need to fit in because you fit in where it matters: the world. People form smaller social groups that are often skewed and unhealthy. Wanting to fit in doesn’t say much more than “I’m afraid to be myself.” This person does not fit well when gossip starts, they will either leave the conversation or speak up, even when it isn’t the popular thing to do. They include those left out, and keep a natural barrier between themselves and those not emotionally strong or insecure.
15. They Don’t Forget That Happiness Is A Decision
Most importantly, the emotionally strong have learned to understand the power their brains have over both the mind and body. They understand that emotions are reactions, not reactions to direct physical causes, but to the way we perceive those causes. In other words, our emotions don’t reflect reality; rather, our emotions reflect the way we interpret reality. Understanding this gives us near-full control of our emotions and, therefore, our lives.
They understand we are in a hurting world and when people are hurting they often hurt others. They give mercy and grace more freely, but also take care of themselves and their loved ones with words of encouragement.
Happiness is an inside job
Originally written by Paul Hudson, revised by TrixieInsideOut.com